Can you Tell I don't like Trish?
by Lilly V
Summary: Well...can you? I just want to know. For all of you other people out there who don't buy Trish as a face, this is for you. By the way, this is an ANTITRISH story for those of you who can't tell


"Can we just get this done?" Trish irately asked the cameraman. "I DO have places to go."  
  
The cameraman rolled his eyes. "Sorry Trish,"  
  
"Ahem, it's Miss Stratus to you!"  
  
"Sorry, Miss Stratus. I was only trying to tell you that we're setting up the lighting so we can see you properly. This is a rather dimly lit garage."  
  
"Why are we filming in a garage again?"  
  
"Because it's the only place we could get you the privacy you demanded for this shoot."  
  
"Well hurry up. I just want to cut this promo and leave!"  
  
"Fine," The cameraman backed up and looked through the lens of his camera. "Alright, looks like we can start filming. I'll give you a countdown…five…four…" the cameraman flashed three fingers, then two, then one, cuing in the Women's Champion.  
  
Trish stuck out her chest and began to speak. "Hello, I'm Trish Stratus and my tits are huge…OH MY GOD!"  
  
On the "OH MY GOD!" the crew all turned their attention to the large black truck zooming through the garage directly towards Trish.  
  
"DUCK AND COVER!" the cameraman yelled.  
  
Trish, frozen in fear, stood staring at the speeding vehicle, even up until it slammed into her.  
  
Trish was thrown several feet before she finally fell onto her back, one of her massive breasts collapsed in on itself.  
  
The truck stopped dead in its tracks. The driver's door opened and a female figure emerged from it.  
  
Lita approached the fallen Trish Stratus and bent over her. As she did, the passenger side door opened and Jaqueline emerged from the vehicle. She looked at Lita and rolled her eyes.  
  
Lita turned around and yelled "SHE POPPED AN IMPLANT!"  
  
Jackie just laughed. "Rikishi been giving you driving lessons again, Lita?"  
  
The other girl just grinned.  
  
Two weeks later, Trish found herself in the parking lot of an arena with the camera crew, trying once more to film the promo. She'd managed to stuff her bra in order to cover up the fact that her right breast was completely flat. This also required her to cover herself significantly more than usual. In other words, she actually had a shirt on.  
  
"We ready?" Trish asked.  
  
"Almost."  
  
"And keep a look out for that truck!" Trish asked. "Why the hell wasn't Lita arrested for that little hit and run?"  
  
"Nobody could prove it was her!" the cameraman answered  
  
"You had it on film!" Trish screeched.  
  
"Uh…no I didn't," he argued. "Oops, time to film!"  
  
Trish composed herself through the countdown and then smiled widely. "I'm Trish Stratus, and even though I now only have on massive breast to show off I…OH GOD, NOT AGAIN!"  
  
The truck careened directly towards Trish, once more slamming directly into her and sending her flying across the parking lot. This resulted in the popping of her other implant.  
  
Lita climbed out of the car again, once more followed by Jackie. The two women bent over Trish once more, inspecting the second busted boob.  
  
There was a long pause before Jackie turned to Lita and said, "Want a cigar."  
  
Without a pause the other girl answered, "Yes."  
  
.  
  
"Now, I want you to PROMISE me that I'm not going to get hit by a truck this time!" Trish demanded from the cameraman as they set up for one final attempt at filming the promo.  
  
"Trish, we can't promise you anything right now!" the cameraman explained frantically. "All we can promise is that we've taken extra precautions this time. No one but this crew knows where this one is being filmed."  
  
"Are you sure it couldn't have slipped?"  
  
"Trish, honey, not even McMahon or Flair knows where we are. We're perfectly safe."  
  
"If you insist," Trish still sounded wary. "Now, let's start filming."  
  
She was cued in. "Hello, I'm Trish Stratus and…SWEET JESUS NOT AGAIN!"  
  
Truck. Acceleration. Hit. Flying Women's Champion. Open door.  
  
Lita, puffing her cigar, slammed her door shut. She crouched over Trish, blowing a puff of cigar smoke in her face. She contemplated, then shook her head and admitted, "It just keeps getting funnier every time."  
  
Later that evening, Molly bounded u to a rather pissed off looking Brock Lesnar. "Hello!" she announced, hands on hips. "I'm Molly. I heard your name is Brock. Do you like Pokemon?"  
  
Brock growled at the diminutive woman. "You're scary…" she whimpered.  
  
Molly turned and ran.  
  
She didn't stop until she ran into Lita. "Lita!" she gasped. "Brock Lesnar is scary. Can you hit him with the truck?"  
  
Lita puffed the cigar in deep thought. "You know Molly, I'm fundamentally opposed to hitting anyone except Trish with a truck."  
  
"But, it's Brock Lesnar. With how big he is it's a far match up."  
  
Lita puffed her cigar again, then once more. She turned her head over her shoulder. "Hey, Jackie, you wanna hit Brock Lesnar with the truck?"  
  
There was a pause before the answer came back. "Can I bring beer?"  
  
"Sure, why not!"  
  
"I'm in, let's go!"  
  
Lita looked at Molly questioningly. "You coming?"  
  
And the three women walked down the hall, shoulder to shoulder. 


End file.
